photo by Lilia Photography
I used to think that picking out bridesmaid dresses was going to be really fun. I figured it would be sort of like having a set of real live Barbie dolls that I could design perfect little outfits for. I admit that I played around with the "dress your wedding party" option on the David's Bridal website before Kyle and I even got engaged. I mean, choosing fancy dresses for your closest friends? What could be more fun?!
And then, after we got engaged, I actually sat down to do it. Bleh.
The problem with picking out bridesmaid dresses is (to put it bluntly) a lot of bridesmaid dresses are hid-e-ous. It's not coincidence that the bridesmaid dress is the punchline of the fashion industry. Some of those little numbers are just plain wrong...and yet they're priced like they're the last dresses on Earth. What better way to celebrate your wedding than to make your best friend pay triple the price of a normal dress for a dress that she'd never look twice at if she were shopping for herself?
It's a problem.
If you're setting out to choose your bridesmaid dresses, you have to start by making a decision. You either need to choose dresses to make you happy or dresses to make your maids happy. I know that might sound a little harsh and I don't mean to imply that you can't find dresses that will do both, BUT you really need to ask yourself which is more important in the end.
A lot of the bridesmaid dresses that end up getting chosen are chosen because the cut and color fit the picture that the bride has of her wedding, not because the bridesmaid looks particularly good in the dress or because they'll ever wear it again. And you know what? That's ok, if that's the way you want to go. It's sort of like picking out a costume. When they agreed to be in your wedding, they agreed to let you choose whatever you want. Just brace yourself for a little backlash if they aren't keen about the price/color/fit/style/etc. and remind them (nicely) that it's your big day.
If this is the option you're choosing, you'll need to think about what you want your wedding to look like and then pick the outfits accordingly. If you decide to get some input from your wedding party, try to limit it to one person so that your decision isn't complicated by too many outside opinions. The next step is to venture out to a bridal boutique or do one of the following:
- use the "dress your wedding party" feature at David's Bridal
- browse wedding magazines for weddings that look like what you want and choose a dress from the advertisements
- determine the exact color you're hoping to find dresses in and search online bridal boutiques for that color. Boutiques include Alfred Angelo, Eden Bridals, and Jessica McClintock.
Now, if it's really truly important to you that each of your bridesmaids loves the dress you've chosen for them, you're probably going to struggle a bit more with your dress decision. Why? Because in order for them to be happy, you're probably going to want to be able to honestly say the three most common phrases in the universal bride-bridesmaid-dress conversation:
- This color looks good on everyone.
- It really is a very reasonable price for what you get.
- You can totally wear this again after the wedding.
The pros of shopping at a non-bridal boutique include:
- Many larger chain stores, such as J.Crew and Nordstrom, may be available to your maids locally, as well as online. This means that you can pick out a dress online and then have your attendants go to a local store to try them on, no matter where they live.
- These stores often have much better return policies than upscale bridal boutiques.
- The fact that these aren't traditional bridesmaid dresses will give your wedding party a little more personality.
- These stores often have predictible sales around holidays, while independent bridal boutiques don't. (Why should they? Their customers aren't usually driven by what time of the year it is, they're driven by one time events that happen all year long.)
My favorite outside-the-bridal-boutique sources for bridesmaid wear are listed below:
Nordstrom
One of my absolute favorite stores around simply because they don't stock crap. Yes, I rarely can afford to shop there, but if your maids are shelling out $100-$200 and up for their bridesmaid dresses, they're sure to get their money's worth here. A side tip: if you choose to have your maids wear long dresses, consider styles similar to the one above, which are solid colors and single fabrics. These types of dresses are easier to alter to cocktail length after the wedding so they can be worn again. (Most of us don't have a lot of long-gown events in our adult lives.)
J. Crew
J. Crew is one of the non-wedding sites that does have a special weddings section...and boy, is it ever lovely! It's true that these dresses look a little more traditional than those that you might find in other sections of the site, but the styles are classic and beautiful and very wear-again friendly. I've also heard a lot of great things about the customer service for people who place orders on the website or need to exchange sizes, which is a major plus if you're working to keep your stress level down! If you're just browsing, be sure to stop and check out their simple and sweet wedding gowns as well.
Chadwicks
Chadwicks? Ok, so this is probably not the next store you expected to see on this list. I don't actually shop at Chadwicks, but I did look at their stuff pretty often when I was looking for dresses for my wedding party and I liked what I saw! I was originally looking for dresses that were a bit more on the conservative side, since a large part of my party is a bit more on the conservative side and the other sites weren't giving me what I want. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Chadwicks has a nice selection of dresses that are beautiful but lean towards being more tasteful than the average party dress. I especially love these for matrons of honor or mothers of the wedding party!
Honorable mentions: Bluefly (just a little bit pricey), Anthropologie (just a little bit casual), and Target (a bit plastic and unimaginative but cheap cheap cheap!).
Of course, if you can't decide between choosing a costume and making your maids stick to it or running around trying to make everyone happy, you can always do what I did and duck the whole thing by choosing a common color and telling everyone to choose their own adventure...er, I mean dress. Sure, I kind of took a chance on the fashion sense that my party was bringing to my event, but in the end it turned out fine and everyone left in a dress that they were quite happy with. And I didn't have to do a thing!
photo by Root Photography
Or (perhaps even better?) you could do what Jessica Claire did and just tell your maids to bring a pretty dress and hope for the best. After all, lovely is lovely!
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3 comments:
Very nice! I did the "compromise" route. One was in my state and the other was in Arizona, so I told them the color and to make it long. And they picked out beautiful dresses that they both love! However, they don't have occasion to wear again, saddly.
But at least, since they were getting it, they were happy! I also pitched in $60 towards whatever they chose.
Once I was engaged and began reading your site, religiously I might add, I decided that your idea on the bridesmaid dress was genius.
I actually looked at J.Crew, Nordstrom, David's Bridal and even Target, but it didn't seem like it would work. Everyone in my party has different tastes in fashion, is a different body type, in varying financial situations and they all live in other states. It was just easier to do it this way.
When I told them just pick a black dress, every single one of them was ecstatic. It is nice to please everyone and have one less thing to think about. I just hope the overall look turns out just as nicely as yours did!
Yay! I'm glad that I was helpful and I'm sure it will be lovely!
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